The improper use of prescription drugs

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For all the trouble you could get into for improper use of prescription drugs (I’m thinking fines, jail time, etc.,) it seems to me that prescription pain pills should really make you feel quite a bit better than they actually do. For all of the risks involved, the rewards seem rather limited.

I’m thinking they should make me feel REALLY good and what I feel is OH, OKAY, WELL, IT’S NOT HURTING AS BAD AS IT DID BEFORE. Beyond that, I feel the same. Doesn’t make a lot of sense. Maybe I’ve gotten the bottles mixed up or something and I’m taking the dog’s vitamins.

Weird. Just sayin’…JS

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Now this is rain

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We are used to the rain up here in the Pacific NW during the fall and winter months, but not THIS kind of rain, a down-pour so unrelenting it makes you get up in the night and stare out the window to see if you can spot one of the Four Horsemen galloping across the back yard. Wow.

Feels like a Dallas thunderstorm, without the thunder, lightning and the feeling that you are being shot at with some sort of assault weapon. It is intense. Rain is necessary, we know that, in order to bring on the kind of greenery we enjoy up here, but the rain has always been a sort of misting, like Mother Nature is sort of spitting on you for months at a time, so this is kind of scary. JS

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Shower time – nice

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Took my first shower today (that wasn’t a sit-on-the-edge-of-the-tub-and-pour-water-over-myself-from-a-cup kind of spit bath) since Nov. 19th. Oooooh, baby!

Wanted to make sure I could bend my leg enough to get in and out of the tub without help and without dragging the shower curtain rod out of the wall and suffocating myself in the bottom of the tub. I’m guessing it worked because here I sit, all clean and shined up, freshly-scrubbed and waiting for Life to give me some new instructions. Time to pay attention. JS

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It takes a village

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First out-patient PT session this afternoon, so I’m very excited about this. I have been quite diligent about doing my exercises, icing my leg, and riding the passive/aggressive machine to break up scar tissue.However, I am bored with this already and anxious to kick this healing process up to a new level.

Stef Neyhart has been a remarkable caregiver and so, so kind to run errands for me, bring home dinner and set up appointments (not to mention, taking time off from her very stressful job to help me get things done, things I could not have gotten done without her help.) It takes a village and we are a village of two. Well, FOUR, if you count Toby and Bennie; FIVE, if you count Eldon, and we do. JS

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WHAT’S ELDON UP TO?

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A couple of people on my FB feed are now wondering, WHAT’S ELDON UP TO?

Well, he and Joanie were gone the other day so Eldon could play golf with their grandson, something he enjoys IMMENSELY.

Yesterday, he came over and brought us a late lunch, some pasta thing Joanie had made, which was so filling we didn’t have to bother with dinner.

He’s such a dear man. It’s always good to see him. JS

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I am thankful…

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I am thankful that the person I love the most is also the best person I know.

I am thankful that we have a dog who is still grateful to have been rescued from doom and dropped into paradise.

I am thankful that I have friends who make me laugh and make me think.

I am thankful that I have been able to be a rolfer for over 35 years, and for my clients who are more spectacular than they yet know.

I am thankful that I have been given a gift of being able to write and tell stories that, hopefully, mean something to someone besides me alone.

I am thankful that our mean cat is no longer a kitten.

And, horses, of course, I am always grateful for horses. Their power and beauty make my soul flutter.

You?

JS

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Eldon on Thanksgiving

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Our 84 yr. old neighbor, Eldon, is a very active man, always working on his house or yard, and plays golf like I think we all wish we could. He loves it that we keep our yard nice and that we don’t back down from big tasks.

When he first met Stef, she had just moved into this house and was taking down a dying GIGANTIC oak tree in the front yard, pulling the rotting roots out with ropes attached to the bumper of her Volvo. “I’ve never seen a woman take on the projects that Stef has,” he told me. Of course, necessity is the mother of invention, and, when you’re raising 3 kids on your own, there’s very little money left over to hire someone to fall a tree for you so, with the help of friends, she took that big thing down without professional help. Eldon was impressed.

He and I are buddies. It distresses him, I think, to know that I am sick or hurt. When he came over the other day, my new knee still had the price tag on it, it was so new. Eldon looked at me. “So, how long you think you’ll be down?” he asked, “a week, maybe?”

I shook my ahead. “Not sure, Eldon,” I said, “It’s a whole new knee.”

He looked down at my leg all covered in bandages and ice packs. “Okay,” he said, “ten days, then.” I think it makes his world feel safer to know that we are on the road to recovery and not getting out of his sight for too long. He is a very dear man.

So, on this Thanksgiving, as I think back through all the memories of the Thanksgivings of my life and remember who and what I am thankful for, I want to say that I am also thankful for the older friends in my life – people like Eldon and Joanie, like my friend Marjorie who just left us – people who are kind enough to lend their wisdom and experience to me as I bumble and hobble along on this journey.

If you have older people still in your life, give thanks for them on this Thanksgiving Day, and give them a hug for me, too. JS

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Goodness in my life all afternoon

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Goodness in my life all afternoon. Stef came home and made me some lunch, then Bob Jarrett came over to figure out what was wrong with my laptop. We spent the afternoon yapping about music, performers, families, communities and other things important to us all. As we were talking, Eldon arrived with some pieces of cake Joanie had made to share, kissing me on the forehead before he headed out.

With the computer fixed, Bob rearranged me on the sofa with all my ice machines and various accoutrements for healing, then headed home. Stef has one more night to work until 8pm so they can have Wed. off, and she won’t be home until later, so I’m sitting here typing, watching Toby watch for Stef out the front window. All of us who love her watch for her with this same dedication, knowing our lives are always better when Stef shows up. JS

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The book, “WILD”, and then there was me

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Cheryl Strayed walked a thousand miles of the Pacific Crest Trail. Her new hiking boots, which were too small, ripped most of her toenails off. After her mother’s death, she had taken a look at her life, didn’t like what she saw, and said, “I’m going to walk myself back to the woman my mother thought I was.” So, she did. Her book about this journey is called WILD and it is FABULOUS. They made it into a movie starring Reese Witherspoon, which is also EXCELLENT – as raw and real as Cheryl’s life must have felt during that whole time.

Last Friday, I had my right knee replaced, which has been needing to happen for many years. At home now, EVERYTHING I try to do seems to take YEARS for me to do, and, then, I am exhausted. Parts of my body other than my knee now hurt, too – aching and throbbing from being called upon to get to work doing jobs I’ve never asked of them before, or, just from simply lying in bed for hours in weird positions just to get comfortable.

I emptied the dishwasher earlier, which seemed to take hours. Of course, then I was exhausted and grumpy. My leg was throbbing like a sump pump. I thought, as I often do, I’M SCREWED. Sometimes, I am right; other times, I am wrong about that. Then, without preamble, Cheryl Strayed and her journey wafted across my mind and then I thought: WELL, AT LEAST, YOU’VE STILL GOT ALL YOUR TOENAILS.

I hobbled in here to the living room, clicked on the TV, and there was Reese Witherspoon starring in WILD, right there for me to see. Again. Writers have a way of saving each other, even when they don’t know it; ESPECIALLY when they don’t know it. I hope words I have written over the years have offered hope or comfort or insight to someone right at a time when they were needed most, even if it just allows someone to think: WELL, AT LEAST MY LIFE ISN’T AS BIG A MESS AS HERS.

It is important, especially for those of us who tend to “awfulize,” to realize that pain, even in all its rawness and thrashing about, doesn’t last forever. Wounds heal. Movement returns. Things change, shift, and life goes on. Sometimes, Life, with arms spread wide and grinning at us like we just won the decathlon, even forgives us. Today, I needed reminding of that and Cheryl Strayed showed up. Right when I needed her most. Thanks, Cheryl. JS

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Knee Surgery Tomorrow

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Surgery is @ 7:30am, Portland time, tomorrow.

Met with my handsome and brilliant surgeon today, Dr.Dub (Dr. Weintraub) and I came away feeling very taken care of, as is always my experience with him and his office staff.

Thanks for all the good wishes and prayers, everyone. It really means a lot to me – HONEST. Stef will post on FB tomorrow, so you’ll know if the power of prayer and collective intention is, as I’ve always said, a vibrant and mighty force, or if it was actually my time to graduate early. That way, you’ll know whether to cheer or to begin searching for a dark suit to wear. Just kidding. I’m not anticipating anything going wrong. I think everything will be just fine.

We are staying in Portland tonight @ the lovely and beautifully comfortable home of my friend, Mary Vander Linden and are being entertained by her funny cat, Manni. In a little while, we are going to grab a bite to eat at a place down by the river called The Muddy Rudder.

I am blessed by being partnered with the best person I know and by the golden glow of your support and friendship. Hugs. JS

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