I really don’t want to wear those stupid stockings they make you wear after knee replacement. I used to have to wrestle those things onto my mother’s skinny legs and, still, it felt like torture.

They didn’t make me wear them when I had the other knee done, but they kept you in the hospital longer then, too. I understand why – to keep from throwing a blood clot – and I understand the difference between the 20% chance of throwing a clot if you don’t wear them and the less than 4% chance if you do wear them, but I still don’t like it.

I was talking to my friend Beth, a nurse, and bitching about that. She said, “So, what would you rather have – a wrestling match with those stockings, or a sword shoved through your lung? You choose. Idiot.” JS