Going through my fears this morning. I have had many, many knee surgeries over the years, mostly cartilage repairs, debridements, stuff like that, after the first major knee surgery in 1975 which left me crippled. However, in searching for the golden nugget in it all one time, I realized that, without having had my entire leg lock up like Chester’s on GUNSMOKE from that rebuilding of my right knee, I might never have discovered Rolfing which not only changed my leg, but my life, as well. Given that, it’s difficult to be anything other than grateful for however it all worked out.
My left knee was replaced 12 yrs. ago. It was an intense process, although not as painful as I’d anticipated, which was weeks and weeks of unending, tooth-grinding, gut-wrenching pain. It just wasn’t that at all, so I’m not really sure what it is I’m so afraid of today, except being incapacitated, something I can’t stand being. I’m not afraid of the pain; there is medicine to help with all of that, if I need it. Oh. I just figured it out. Nothing like doing therapy with all your FB friends and acquaintances early in the day.
I’m afraid I’m not strong enough anymore to do the rehab I will need to do to make it work the best that it can. THAT’S my big, fat fear this morning. In 2003, I rehabbed the daylights out of my left leg. I had a great PT who knew I was an old jock and would challenge me, really push me, making me do stuff with my new knee I don’t think I would ever have done, even if my knees had ever been good (which they weren’t.) Well, thanks, everybody for the therapy session. Clearly, I have to go now and do some exercises. Hugs. JS