Category Archives: Jody Spouts off

Is Mercury in retrograde?


Mercury must be in retrograde. Or something. I’d like to be able to blame the series of SNAFUs that have happened to me since I’ve been in Tulsa on something other than just me and I’d want to know that if, indeed, Mercury is doing its double-cross dance across the sky and sending screw-ups raining down on us all that it will end soon. Before Thursday, is my hope, because I’ll be hopping into a car on that day and driving back across the nation to Oregon and I’d like to envision my trip as one of clear sailing and not dodging one crisis after another or careening from catastrophe to catastrophe along the interstate highway system of America. I’ve done that one before. Read my book, DEAD IN A DITCH – Growing Up in Texas & Other Near-Death Experiences, to find out just how all of that happened.

When I first arrived here last week, while extricating an avocado pit in the most stupid way imaginable, I stabbed the underside of my forefinger knuckle with a knife point. For someone who uses her hands in her work, this is not ideal. Liquid Bandage and peanut oil with arnica in it, however, has allowed me to work and it’s been okay. Thanks to my friend Kay Sheehan for that idea.

Two days ago, after an elderly client left, I noticed the rug in the room where I work was rucked up from the walker she uses to help her get around and I thought: OH, I REALLY NEED TO FIX THAT RUG SO NOBODY TRIPS ON IT. Well. Of course, I completely forgot about it until I went walking back into that room at full bore and tripped on the rug myself which sent me crashing onto a little table and into the wall. I didn’t hit my head – something I’m always terrified of doing now – but both shoulders and my right knee are pretty stove up and there’s a dark purple bruise the size of a Nerf football on my lower left side. So, now I am taking anti-inflammatories and smearing Arnica gel all over me and shuffling along like Tim Conway.

Then, of course, as I reported yesterday, I spent the first of my waking hours trapped behind a stuck door which wouldn’t open until my friend Lynda Jacobs came over and smacked it hard with both hands to pop it free and liberate me from doom and/or boredom.

On the good side, I’ve done some really good work on some really great people, which always makes my heart smile. And, I learned that every one of the clients I saw yesterday would have driven over here in the dark to save me if they had known I needed help. A couple were actually kind of disappointed that they didn’t get the call. Sweethearts.

So, I’m hoping this is just the messy shenanigans of Mercury doing his retrograde malarkey dance in the sky. And, I’m hoping he’s done with it by Thursday. Just in case, though, if you live between Tulsa and southern Oregon and you have access to a four-wheel drive vehicle, extra skis, a big inner tube, or a shotgun, you might send me a personal FB message with your phone #. If Mercury doesn’t get his act together and start behaving himself by Thursday, you’ll probably be hearing from me. JS


Stormy in Tulsa


Rainy, stormy night here in Tulsa. Bad storms and tornadoes are around somewhere, although not here, not right now.

I did 6 rolfing sessions today, ate some delicious soup and salad for dinner, ran a couple of errands and beat it back to Kay & Stephen’s before the big rains hit. Now, I am pooped.

Stay safe and warm, everyone. Hard to believe it’s almost the end of May and I’m sitting here in a fleece jacket in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Don’t think climate change is upon us, Sen. Inhofe? You might want to re-think that one. JS



Finishing up my rolfing trip to Lubbock today. Many thanks to my friends Cheryl Benoit and Melody Ogletree, owners of The PforymWELL Center, for hosting me to work in such a great place, as well as for the nice bed in which to lay my sleepy head each night.

Many thanks, also, to rolfing clients here in Lubbock whose Texas accents and kind hearts remind me of things so good and pure about my home state, things I still miss since I moved away so long ago.

Also, I just need to say this: I LOVE COWBOYS. I grew up around them. I love their dusty boots and crumpled hats and their shirts and Wranglers starched stiff as road signs, reminding me that some ranch wife loves them, too, someone who sends them out into the world each day looking as good as she can get them to look, for a while, anyway. Makes my heart smile. JS


Over 50? Get a Colonoscopy!


Thank you so much for your prayers & thoughts, everyone. A family member had a colonoscopy last week and they found (and removed) a 3 inch mass hiding back, which was laden with pre-cancerous cells.

He’s on antibiotics now to ward off infection and he will have to be cautious and conscientious about regular colonoscopies going forward, but I think he’s going to be okay. What a relief.

So, to all of my over-50 friends, if you have not had a colonoscopy, I STRONGLY URGE you to do so.

The first one I had, my doctor looked right out of Jr. High. Of course, they give you this happy juice to get ready (probably big mistake in my case) so you’re liable to say ANYTHING, which I did. So, my middle school doc walks in and I say, “Finish your paper route?”

And he replies, “Ha-ha.”

I look at him with my crossed eyes and ask, “How old are you, anyway…Son?”

And he replies, “Old enough.”

I stared at him some more before I said, “I bet I’ve got polyps older than you!” Turns out, I did, BUT NOT ANYMORE!

So, please, my friends, GET YOUR COLON CHECKED! Caught early enough, colon cancer is totally treatable, and a colonoscopy is not as bad as you might think – it’s the prep that’s the challenge. Okay. Rant over. Hugs. JS


Hair on my legs ?


I have no hair on my legs. None. Menopause had rendered me down to 3 on my right leg only and zero on the left and now those 3 have disappeared, too. I’m thinking I must have dripped some of my home-made weed killer onto my pants leg the other day. Or, perhaps my eyesight is going. Or, aliens made off with me in the night, plucked out those 3 remaining hairs for research, looked at each other and said, “Nah, she’s a geezer – she’ll never even notice,” then carted me back home and into my bed before dawn when I awoke. At any rate, that’s the status for today.

Spooky, isn’t it? The thought that you could be double-crossed by your very own body 3 & 4 times in one lifetime is really kind of creepy, don’t you think? I mean, just when I finally get used to it being a particular way – WHAM! – there’s something new that’s arrived or disappeared and, suddenly, I have to spend twice as long to look half as good as I ever did, and even half of that time is spent plucking or tweeking somehow, or clipping or tucking in or cinching up or buffing or smearing with some sort of cream or ointment.

So, I hope you’re having a hey-day, you creepy, weird-O aliens, with my 3 leg hairs, and I hope my schizophrenic DNA sprays all over you when you crack those babies open. You won’t know what’s hit you. I certainly don’t. That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it. JS


I’m feeling a strong urge to write to someone about this


Stef took a couple of Nyquil capsules last night and, thus, she may sleep until Tuesday.

One time, some years back, when I was still rolfing in Dallas, I felt I was getting a cold. My friend Shirley handed me a Coricidin-D cold tablet, which I immediately took. Made it to DFW and onto my Delta flight, but I fell asleep so hard that what woke me was this very young, very sweet flight attendant trying to lift my big head out of the aisle (where it was hanging) and back onto my chair (from where it had slipped) all so they could get past it with the beverage cart. I don’t remember anything about that flight beyond that.

I’m thinking that sleeping through an illness might not be such a bad thing; I feel the same about addictions, too. I think we should be able to be knocked out for a period of time and, when we awaken, we are amazingly free of, say, brownie or bacon molecules floating around in there which make us want more of them. I might be even more brilliant than I’d imagined and am now feeling a strong urge to write to someone about this. First, I’ll go make breakfast – no brownies, because I am so amazingly strong; plus, we don’t have any, but bacon, for sure. JS


marathon days and crossword puzzles


A marathon day yesterday, starting @ 3am, when I awoke, terrified I’d oversleep and not get on the road in time.

Left by 7am and drove to Portland when I was suddenly besieged by papers and notary things and faxes that all needed to be handled IMMEDIATELY and sent back to Dallas.

Then, I did 3 rolfing sessions, hopped in my car and wrestled my way through rush hour and back onto I-5 South for the 3hour drive back to Roseburg. Made it home about 9:30pm.

I was BEYOND exhausted when I crashed onto my pillow last night. Stef has the flu, however, so I’m feeling better than she does today. There are little piles of Kleenex everywhere and half-consumed cups of various kinds of tea sitting around.

Tea always strikes me as a hopeful thing – something unrequited, for me, although the Brits and the Canadians see it as a cure-all for everything, I think. I always expect to feel better than I do when I drink it; maybe my expectations are too high. I always think I should feel FABULOUS when I drink it, or, at least, good enough to want to stand on the hood of my car and sing BORN FREE out loud with my arms outstretched and flailing in the air. But I don’t, which always makes it a little disappointing.

It’s rather like how I feel about elections and crossword puzzles: so very HOPEFUL that now, by golly, NOW, we’re going to get something good done. And then, we don’t. And I’m bummed.

With crossword puzzles, I sit there staring at all those little squares, inhaling the woodsy smell of a freshly sharpened pencil, the tip of my tongue sticking out of the corner of my mouth, devouring all the easy ones quickly. Then, I can feel myself slowing down, wrestling with the hard ones, getting madder and madder at the smarty-pants know-it-alls who think these things up and I start looking for an address so I can mail a scathing letter that will slap them so hard they’ll think twice about putting words like “parsimonious” in a local newspaper crossword puzzle ever again – EVER! I fling the paper across the room in disgust and rage.

Yep, they’ll be hearing from me, alright, those creeps. And, just so they’ll know I mean business, I’ll be sure to sign it, Your Sworn Enemy, Jody Seay. That’ll show them. Bastards. Okay, end of rant. I have to go now. My tea is cold. JS


Jody Spouts Off – My first blog entry – BLOGGONIT!™

Bloggonit! is the Trademarked Name of Jody's Seay's Blog. Yep, This Texan has a TM

Jody Spouts Off in her blog – BLOGGONIT!™

“Well, I can’t wait to Blog on it… Doggone it!” – Jody Seay

BLOGGONIT!™ is my place to spout off on whatever is rollin’ around in my brain. From heartfelt messages to an occasional snotty letter, my blog runs the gamut, sometimes from A to B, and sometimes from A to Z, of ideas and issues I hold close. As I say at the close of each BACK PAGE episode: “Remember, we’re all in this together – more the same than different. Do your best.”

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